@SouthrnPinUpMom

I wonder which woman said….. “yep I’m gonna put it in my mouth and see what happens.”

You Might Also Like

@mrjohndarby

[making octopuses]
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: yes
angel: arm?
god: no

@Browtweaten

One of my favorite memories is of the time my sister threw a pocket dictionary at me and my mom told her to go to her room and think about how hurtful words can be and then laughed to herself for like three minutes

@JediGigi

“JELLYFISH ARE NOT MADE OF JELLY AND ALSO THEY ARE NOT VERY NICE!”–I scream from my swollen mouth

@lwhit_the_boss

My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he’s actually a bag of Cheetos

@AbbyHasIssues

I just got excited about a new scent of dish soap.

No one warned me adulthood was going to be such a non-stop thrill ride.

@Kauaibride

an hour on the treadmill is not so bad if you don’t turn it on.

@EJGomez

oh u love jesus “with all of ur heart”? name 3 of his albums

@Dawn_M_

What does it mean when you’re on a date and he pushes you in front of a bus?