BEAR IN A TRENCHCOAT: yes i’m here for the fish tube job
I would make an awesome panda because I too excel at looking adorable while doing nothing.
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I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through.
Her: The laundry pods are missing!
Me: Oh really?
H: Did you eat them again?
M: Absolutely not *burps bubbles* why?
H: JUST CALL IT A HUNCH!
The person that was in charge of naming Ohio must have thought of it when they realized someone was waving at the person behind them.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
[applying for a job at the FBI]
FBI: and there will be a video interview
Me: do i just walk up to any computer with a webcam lol
FBI: you could do that, yes
YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
Migraine: Yes I am.
David Attenborough: The hippos have patiently surrounded the unsuspecting white marbles
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.