@3sunzzz: I write fake chores on my to-do list just to scribble them out, then my husband thinks I do more.
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@pizzajaynow: People who only tweet inspirational stuff are the same people who reminded their school teacher about homework assignments.
@Gupton68: [first date] me: let’s just say I’ve kissed a lot of frogs her: to meet your princess? me: er yeah, whatever you say...
@_ElvishPresley_: [commercial for boiling water] *enemies at castle wall are splashed with cool refreshing water* castle guard: there must be a better way!