“I’d kill you if I thought I could get away with it”…….things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy’s, she’s available!
You Might Also Like
Pizza will never hurt your feelings.
It was definitely Adam and Steve – what kind of straight man hangs out in a garden??
You know the saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? Yeah, that doesn’t work when vacuuming up a pancake.
6yo: *non stop talking*
Me: *tells 6yo to go read*
6yo: *comes out of room every 2 min to tell me about the book*
I had no idea we were millionaires until I just saw my husband casually rip off 3 or 4 paper towels at once.
The camera adds like 10-15 crooked teeth.
Every video my wife has taken with her phone has me in it saying, “Are you taking a video?”
Paris is suing Fox News for repeatedly insulting it. Also suing them for the same reason: your intelligence.
I wrote ‘I loathe ‘ and ac finished it with ‘people’. I’m gonna marry my phone.