Not even a lifetime of watching horror movies will prepare you for the 1st time your baby says “hi” and waves to the empty corner of a room.
– I’d like to make a reservation.
– Matthew McConaughey.
– Can you spell that for me?
You Might Also Like
If ever you’re feeling down, and I can’t be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch.
Confuse future archaeologists by burying human bones as if they’re riding dinosaur skeletons into battle.
This baby at McDonalds may have started the screaming competition, but I guarantee I’m going to win it.
Well, she was raised to refer to dinner as ‘supper’ so obviously it wasn’t going to work out in the end.
that escalated quickly
“The Burning Bush” but it’s just me getting laser hair removal.
Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn’t quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
[first day as a beekeeper] my pockets really hurt
If you encounter a bear DON’T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies