@WillSaysStuff: I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: REJECTED MARVEL CHARACTERS: Thorothy Captain Caillou Aunt Man Backfat Iron Jan Thanus
@brandiwastaken: First person to discover soap: I must boil the fat from this animal with ashes and then rub it all over my body. Only then will I truly be clean. Friend: Dude, is everything okay at home?
@donjuantip: Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi.