The trick to a good AVI is finding your best characteristic and flaunting it. I obviously am a fan of my nostrils.
If a CW won’t take ownership of their mistake, the discussion about having them killed should at least be on the table, surely?
~ reason 153 why I’ve been asked to visit HR ‘for a chat’ this year.
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Miles: Mom what does clitoral damage mean?
Me: 😳 Use it in a sentence, baby
Miles: Like clitoral damage in a war?
Me: Co-lat-er-ul, babe
Wife: I said any fantasy, I wore the police uniform! Isn’t that enough?
Me: Say the words
Wife: Ok… sir, I have bad news about your wife
Me: What do you call sex in December?
Wife: Don’t say it.
W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce.
Caught my kid forging my signature and I have to say, pretty good for a third grader
A bear went into a bar.
“I’d like a whiskey…….
Bartender asks “why the long pause?”
Bear says “oh, I was born with them”.
[answering my shoe like a phone] hold on i can’t hear you let me put you on sneaker
“They’re probably more afraid of you than you are of them,” I say, as a snarling pack of wolves attacks my friend Jeff
“Say hello to my little friend” Great Movie Quote. Terrible bedroom talk.
Omg this smells SO good. The kids are gonna hate it.