HOW TO DISPOSE OF BATTERIES
– set them aside until you can look up how to dispose of batteries
– find them 3 months later
– look both ways
– slip them into the trash
If a server comes to my table and asks ‘hows everythin tasting?’ mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer
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Describing anything that happens in 2017 makes me sound like a crazy person who just screams at park benches.
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The funniest thing about being sober is someday finding out that you were the mayor of Toronto.