@NotGaryBusey: If a vampire bites his tongue, does his tongue become a vampire? Tongpire?
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@etherealraccoon: Scariest things in the world: 1. Clowns 2. Phone calls 3. That feeling when you accidentally tip your office chair back too far and your life flashes before your eyes
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I hate when people think my real name is Jennifer, because it's not, it's Jennitalia.
@Dutch_50: I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial.