If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?

You Might Also Like


[invention of croutons]
Let me put a few bread rocks on top of your salad. Trust me, people in neighboring cities will hear you eating this.


I know it sounds mean but when I’m mad at my wife and want to lash out, I blow out her scented candles when she’s not looking.


I hate the phrase “let me clarify” because it means someone is about to talk some more.


I went to high school with these people on Facebook, so I’m confused on how they didn’t learn HOW TO SPELL.


every time you say the word “turnt” a baby gets run over by a smart car


Health care reform is a tough sell politically. How do you campaign against health insurance companies, whom everyone loves


[ riding into battle ]



My goldfish died. The good news is I’m inheriting a tiny treasure chest.