@OhNoSheTwitnt: If Ann Coulter is tweeting then who’s guarding Azkaban?
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@noog: Thanks for wishing me a Happy Monday, you've changed my entire outlook. I don't hate Monday anymore. I hate you. Happy New Sworn Enemy.
@slimmy_shady: My gf told me that I punched her in the face while I was sleeping last night. I apologized because I totally remember being awake for that.
@GingerHotDish: The guy sitting nearest to me on the plane is a wizard. He pulled birthday cake out of his backpack!!! A stingy wizard because he didn’t share, but still...
@thatudiboy: Nothing is interesting as watching two very drunk people fighting. That's the one time you also witness slow motion effect in reality.