Remembered there were pudding cups in the fridge, so I walked faster than usual to the kitchen and now I know what a “runner’s high” is.
If anyone asks, we met at a bible study.
You Might Also Like
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re assembling furniture from IKEA.
Me: If the sun has a finite life can we really save the planet?
Wife: TAKE THE RECYCLING OUT!
………GO TO HELL!!
Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, “Why oh why does nobody reply to my emails?”
My son got a Country Boy sticker for his truck. I wrote “but I live on a golf course and I’m afraid of cows” under it bc I don’t like lies.
Kids are making millions off apps and games they’ve created and I haven’t watched TV in days because I hit a wrong button on the remote…
confession: my gang’s nicknames are all just hot sauce brands
“God” not mentioned in Democratic platform means they don’t worship God. “Money” mentioned eleven times in Republican platform.