Scarface: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FREN
Danny Devito: well hello there
If anyone says YOLO to me I say YOLBYPCFAC (You Only Live Because Your Parents Couldn’t Find A Condom). I hope it catches on…
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Good things come to those who don’t make mommy lose her shit.
*tucks napkin into my shirt*
This meal could get messy.
Is pregnancy genetic cause my mom was pregnant and so was my grandma and I’m worried
If you had more money you’d be happier.
Smart of them to call it cookies I mean who’s gonna decline cookies? If they’d said this site uses snakes people would be like aw hell naw
[god creating hotdogs]
inflate that worm
ME: this is Inky my pet octopus, Stompy my elephant and Mr Butters my horse
FRIEND: the horse isn’t Hoofy or something?
ME: grow up Kalvin
I hadn’t pledged allegiance to the flag in so long I forgot the words and I may have just drunkenly pledged to one nation, invisible, with librarian judges for all.