ME: it’s rude to stare
THE ABYSS: you started it
If at first you don’t succeed you will get a lot of advice from people who didn’t succeed either.
You Might Also Like
Her: OMG my feet are sooo cold, like ice!
Me: No, don’t put them on m-… gahhh!
Repeat until I die, she assures me it was in the wedding vows.
Boss: You drink everyday and I think you need an intervention..
Me: I work everyday so I should quit that too?
Me: Good talk
Bad guys gotta have a meeting and decide once and for all Liam Neeson’s family is off limits.
Her: 😉 Is that a potato in your pocke…
Me: *pulls a steaming hot fully loaded potato from my pocket*
If I ever become a ghost, no way I’m haunting some abandoned building. I’m finding the nearest lingerie store and setting up shop there
i love driving becuase it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad
Me: I’m so bored I literally have nothing to do
*10 upcoming assignments due tomorrow*
what sorcery is this? How does my VLC player know its christmas ????
whenever I feel bad for not wanting to get out of bed I remember it took animals like 150 million years to leave the ocean for the first time and I can relax again, like what’s the rush