@ndiquote: If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one.
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@MableGertrude: Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch.
@fatherofcomedy: People think i am so incapable of doing anything on my own that even if i commit suicide they would say it was murder.
@Nahdude83: Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
@anhonestmess: This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p