@SamGrittner: If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@T_N_Crumpets: [Restaurant] Me: I know in your profile it said you were small but I didn[my date falls into her soup]
@ashlar36: Grandma: what's oversharing? Me: It's when you talk about your hemorrhoid surgery on FaceBook.
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?