Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
If I had a dollar for every time I heard “grow up!” I could buy a seriously awesome security system to keep doody heads out of my fort.
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When the vet gives my cat a pill vs when I give my cat a pill.
I get carried away sometimes.
Because I refuse to leave.
hm, feeling a little stiff today. must be from all that (into megaphone) HIKING
NASA: we’re sending astronauts back to the moon
Me: good, return them to their natural habitat
They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.
Don’t mix your medication with alcohol she said and we laughed and laughed and laughed & then took turns operating operating heavy machinery
Get your flu shot. Get your cold stabbed.