@Canadian_Cutie_: If I have learned anything in life it's don't throw away your fat clothes
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@Storminika: Instead of sending friends Christmas cards, is it ok If I return the ones I got and just add the words "Me too"?
@dadsrpeopletoo: Therapist: What brings you in today? Me: Going to be honest here. I have a wife and 2 young kids. I want an hour on a couch uninterrupted. Go get a sandwich or something.
@Sickayduh: Good cop: WHAT ARE YOU DOING - HE WAS UNARMED Dog cop: *plants a vacuum cleaner on body*