@RuinMyWeek: If I learned anything from Peter Pan, it's that I can leave my dog to watch my kids while I go out and party.
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@torrami: My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :(
@reczit: Smartphone owners are the bravest. They're not afraid of anything not even death. They can walk into any running truck without giving a damn
@_theigirl: Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the shit out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
@KissabiX: [at a farm] Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles Sheep: Look I got a new "hairdo" Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway