I never question my sanity, I’m afraid it will answer back.
If I stabbed someone with icicle, no one would find the murder weapon, because it melts. This thought is haunting me.
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No, they’re not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. 🙂
*later to thugs* They know too much.
*walk up to woman breastfeeding baby* Is this guy bothering you?
Flight attendant: Is there a Dr. on this flight?
Dad: that should’ve been you
Me: Not now Dad
Dad: Maybe you can flippy Mctwisty him back to health
Me: Dad, there’s an emergency
Dad: use your “always special” cheat code
Me: But we’re in first class and I paid for our flight
Nothing is creepier than watching someone hula hoop with a serious look on their face.
If you watch Scooby-Doo backwards its about some kids helping a business owner enter a costume contest then minding their own business.
I think it’s fair to question whether or not Barack Obama is an American. I mean, look at him.
He’s awfully thin…
Charlie Sheen’s herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school.
*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I’m sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*
I’ll never look at it the same again.