Amaranth, bulgur, kamut, quinoa.…a list of ancient grains sounds suspiciously like an list of Elder Gods.
if I was ever in prison I’d quickly assert dominance by giving everyone a fabulous makeover
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Rock bottom implies the existence of paper bottom and scissors bottom.
Her: Make me scream
Me: *turns on lights
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
When I say the word ‘laboratory’ I quietly say it like a mad scientist in my head: la-bore-ra-tori
H: “You’re walking funny”
me: I hurt myself in the hot tub
H: “Did you fall in?”
me: … sure.
Why do buses and trains cost money, like you’re going that way anyway give us a lift g
*on a first date*
Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret
*flags down police car* how many mpg does this thing get?
I’ll write I’ll write I’ll write.