What about ‘sextuple stuffed’
“That’s just inappropriate Jeff you’re fired”
[later googling Sextuple]
“Omg that’s genius”
If I was on the Titanic I would have told the captain “Do not hit that iceberg,” saving millions in the process
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*peeks under bathroom stall*
How’s the wifi signal in there?
Good morning, a spider’s favorite music app is Spotafly and your day can only get better from this joke forward Happy Thursday
Hey, people who leave the volume on an odd, non divisible by 5 number, how do you live with yourselves?!
Your time difference cannot harm me. My insomnia is like a shield of steel.
[watching lion king]
TIMON: hakuna matata
ME: *whispering to date* that means no worries
TIMON: it means no worries
Boss: why do you deserve this promotion?
Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant
B: what drugs are you on?
Me: good ones
Undercover cop at a beauty salon: I’ve been made, over
ME: my son ran away
COP: we won’t rest until we find him
ME: [swiping LEGO aside with both feet] no rush
If “bae” means bacon and eggs then yes, I’m chilling with my bae