@heatherjs: If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, "I'll cut you."
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@parkersJoking: Right now the parents of the kid who climbed Trump Tower are thinking "Damn I knew we shouldn't have given him that REI gift card"
@KylePlantEmoji: Urgent: do vampires need to be invited into each individual apartment in a building or do they just need to get in the lobby?
@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them
@SoulYodeler: Wait you *must* be the aunt I've heard soooo much about. The one who looks like Freddie Mercury and laughs like a jackal. Is this her honey?