@caseytduncan: If I've learned any thing from dogs and cats, it's that you can rub your head on people when you want attention.
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@Shen_the_Bird: date: i like guys who are mysterious me: [afraid she may have learned my horrible secret] haha isn't it great that neither of us has ever made love to a snowman
@CornOnTheGoblin: "do you have any pets" [remembers girls like sensitive guys] a cat "what's his name" [remembers girls also like tough guys] missile launcher
@PleaseBeGneiss: [brain surgery] SURGEON (secretly a zombie): fork ASSISTANT: SURGEON: ...over that scalpel