If two people meet and wind up in the bedroom and discover they’re both doms, do they just fight to the death?
If Lebron’s so much better than Jordan then explain to me why Bugs Bunny has never once asked for his help in a game. Cant argue with facts.
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We’re all different. For example, some folks get up early to exercise… And others get up early to eat cookies before the kids wake up.
Never ever tell yourself “my idea isn’t good enough.” The entire premise of Marmaduke is “what if a dog was big” and that shit has been going for 60 goddamn years
I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn’t understand.
I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight.
8yo: mommy how old are you?
8yo: *blink blink* so you seen a real dinosaur?
ANIMAL CROSSING: you pull out a fish you caught two minutes ago and everyone in town applauds you.
STARDEW VALLEY: you spend 19 days growing a carrot and give it to a woman who disdainfully says, “I don’t want this” yet still takes your carrot. The carrot costs 2,000 dollars.
I relate more to “Rice, rice, baby” – because Asian
Cool thing about this wind storm is I now own 18 new trash cans..
Girls who say bestie are the worstie.
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.