@DamienFahey: If Leonardo da Vinci posted the Mona Lisa on Instagram today, it would get 30 likes, tops.
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@djdarrellripley: Him: Sarah is dead. Me: Oh Thank God! She wasn’t answering my emails and I thought she was mad at me...
@XplodingUnicorn: Nice try, coworker who offered me coffee. The last thing I want to do at work is be awake.
@prufrockluvsong: Summer is the perfect time to collect shells on the beach. The 20 gauge ones are especially pretty, although you can't beat a good 45 mm.