@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her
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@longwall26: The Lord alone--not science--will determine how many chickens can fit inside my motorcycle sidecar.
@MaybeNik: me training someone at my job: “You’re not supposed to do this, but this is how I do it”
@Terdoh: I had a dream where children were allowed to pick their parents, and I woke up thinking "This is not The Gates' residence."
@BartenderMB: My girlfriend said that sex is better on vacation. That wasn't the postcard I was expecting.