@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her
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@djderk: Suicide terrorists: jokes on you! Virgins totally suck. Have fun jerking off while she cries.
@BuckyIsotope: A group of wild dads just ran into my back yard, built a shed, filled it with tools and told me not to touch any of them or I'd be grounded.
@therealeatwood: ME: What an emotional roller coaster ROLLER COASTER: [calling out to me as I exit the park] Why are you leaving??!! Is it something I said?
@HorryPuttor: The Hogwarts teachers must have felt so stupid when their traps designed to keep Voldemort from the stone were beaten by three 11 year olds
@Matt_The_1st: Ok kids, you get in bed, I'll get the story book. All tucked in? Here we go... *opens The Shining
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