You’re so empty inside….nnn….stupid fridge.
If someone catches me staring I quickly look to my left & right so they think “oh that girl’s not looking at ME she’s looking at EVERYTHING”
You Might Also Like
Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you
According to the most current magazine in this doctor’s office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.
99% Indians work on the Principle of Rockets.
It doesn’t mean we aim for the sky.
It means, we don’t start work unless our tail is on fire
I just got this twitter error: “The server understood your request but is refusing to fill it.” Apparently, twitter thinks we’re married.
I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!
[throwing out the baby]
Me: Oh shit, my bathwater!
Pour some sugar on me. More. Keep going. Okay, now bricks.
reading rob zombie’s name is a real wild ride. at first you’re like “rob? ok, i know what we’re dealing with here”. then things get weird
TERMINOTOR: come with me if u want to live
ME: ok cool
*just sits there*
TERMINOTOR: COME WITH ME IF–
ME: ya i got it. im good right here