@daviddeweil: If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision.
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@Darlainky: I just won $50 on a scratch off! Guess y'all know who's splurging on the whole cashews next grocery trip.
@Shen_the_Bird: best buy employee: can i help you find anything me: uh i'm good best buy employee: ok well if you have any questions i'm colin me: how'd you get in my house colin
@stevevsninjas: Boss: Any final questions for our applicant? Sphinx: *eyes blazing like searchlights* Three sons have I and- Boss: WORK-related questions