@robfee

If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.

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@TitansHomer

I used to get bullied online.

Until one day I walked up to the biggest computer in Best Buy and beat the shit out of it.

@TheTweetOfGod

Nancy Grace just called pot smokers “fat and lazy”. Right. Unlike the buff marathon runners home 4 o’clock on a Monday watching your show.

@DannyZuker

I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage.

@MomofTeen

If having a social media account makes you a journalist, changing a lightbulb makes me an electrician.

@D2BMcG

Do you remember when the most annoying thing on the Internet was a dancing baby?

Yeah, good times

@aaroncoal

I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.