@andylassner: If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents walking around and cursing after stepping on Legos, it's not based on a true story.
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@dadsrpeopletoo: Mumble rap was invented by a guy trying to repeat what his wife just said after she caught him not listening.
@InternetHippo: [invention of kissing] WEIRD PERSON: Hey let me lick the inside of your mouth EVEN WEIRDER PERSON: Ok
@Burger_Time_: Every time you shake hands with a dog u r entering into a dog contract whos stipulations u could never understand
@simoncholland: Guys that have a hard time meeting girls, have you tried painting some wings on the side of a building and waiting for them to come take pictures?
@ZachWeiner: It is a truth universally acknowledged ON MARS that a single woman in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
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