@Xalqee: If the object of having a few drinks is to " Take the edge off", then I'm Spherical
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@Ygrene: Me: can I get a Coke please Waiter: we only serve Pepsi here Me: how about a lemonade then Waiter: sir… we only serve Pepsi here [cut to guy at the next table eating a plate of Pepsi]
@lonelySophia: "Wow 4 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know" Me: wow 4 kids... those are pretty damn permanent CAROL
@richardosman: My daughter is in China and sends me photos of mis-translations. This is my new favourite.
@AbbyHasIssues: How to put on deodorant: 1. Apply deodorant. 2. Wait two seconds. 3. Try and remember if you put on deodorant. 4. Reapply deodorant.