@: if the second I text you back, you call me because you know I'm holding my phone, I will call the police.
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@AndrewNadeau0: ME: I just feel like sometimes you take me for granted. MY CAT: I literally have no idea who you are.
@Try2StopME: Student: "May I go to the toilet?" Teacher: "What for?" Student: "To open the Chamber of Secrets"
@QwertyJones3: Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you're making me pitch a tent.
@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going