@3sunzzz: If the world made any sense, all sperm whales would be male.
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@juneohara65: Me: "Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession." Priest: "You're off to a bad start."
@SaltyCorpse: My dog: I can't get her up. My Other dog: Did you lick her face? My dog: Yeah, no dice. My other dog: Did you run to the door and back? My dog: Yes. Sheesh. My Cat: Get out of my way, amateurs. *hurk* *gag* *hurk* Now she's up, peasants.
@Sarcasticsapien: Having bad dreams is the best way to prove you can't even do being unconscious right.
@lolajxx: Sometimes as a woman all i want is for a man to grab me, throw me into bed and then clean my house while i sleep