@wolfpupy: if they didn't want me to take the coins off a dead man's eyes they would have moved the gumball machine further away.
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@Rollinintheseat: When a waiter sees my disability and asks the person I'm with what I want to eat, I respond "Our telepathy is a bit off. You should ask me."
@AnkCoupleTO: [job interview] Panel: We're looking for someone with intensity, focus, passion and drive Me: *adjusting volume on Ipod* sorry what?