@Pork_Chop_Hair: If we put headlamps on the squirrels that live in our trees, we don’t even need a strobe light for our backyard dance party. Just something to consider.
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@beccafacexo: I wish I was a bear, I'd be playing with my bear friends in the woods, not stuck in an elevator with these idiots. Am I talking out loud?
@AimeeHelene1: Me: *parks in "pregnant women only" parking spot after overeating at the buffet* Stranger: Oh wow, you look like you're going to pop! When are you due? Me: Probably in like 24-30 hours.
@gentilecoont: Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with.