@meganamram: If you can get the pronouns right for a boat you can get them right for a person
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@Elizasoul80: Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they're the problem is the other half.
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: Heading up to bed *winks* [30 min later] Wife: ...where is he? Me: (laying perfectly still in floral camo that matches the sheets)
@nickmullen: I'm not religious but I'm spiritual, which means I think the mothman prophecy is real and I don't feel bad about shoplifting
@ericsshadow: [my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have.