I saw this sign two days ago and I can’t stop thinking about ‘Worse’
If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything – Marilyn Monroe
If you believe that try showing her your race car bed – Me.
You Might Also Like
You’re never gonna believe this but Ben Carson’s full name is Benghazi Carsonofsatan
I have been successfully sitting in chairs for over 40 years without falling off–a skill I apparently didn’t pass on to my boys.
drank a Mike’s Hard Lemonade & crashed my dirt bike into a mailbox RT @McDonalds Good morning! How was your weekend?
If I were a fashion designer I wouldn’t spend any money on advertising but rather pay old people to wear my competitor’s clothing
I put my earbuds on just like everybody else. Frantically as someone approaches.
Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it’s a dead body.
“Sleep” and I broke up a few nights ago. I’m dating “Coffee” now. She’s Hot!
[first day as a snake charmer]
me: ayy wussup king damn what that tongue do long boi lmao u got room in that wicker basket for two or what
cobra: *striking me several times about the face, neck, and chest*
I come from a long line of successful people.
I decided to stop that tradition.