@BackrowSeats: If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package.
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@Jake_Vig: If you ever light anything on fire accidentally, just tell people you're boycotting something.
@SuperRandomish: Fun prank: Just leave random "I'm sorry I hit your car" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent.
@UncleDuke1969: ME: *points at my "World's Greatest Dad" shirt* CO-WORKER: *points at his own "World's Greatest Dad" shirt* ME: *takes a sip from my "World's Greatest Dad" mug* CO-WORKER: *sips from his own "World's Greatest Dad" mug* ME: [eyes narrow] *draws "World's Greatest Dad" sword*
@Marlebean: "Only real heroes run towards danger" I think to myself while hiding from my whining children.