This cop is acting like he never saw anyone drive while making waffles before.
“If you clean it, they will come. .. and destroy it. … immediately” Field of Dreams 2, Housecleaning w/ Kids
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I’m pretty sure 2020 came fresh from the Pet Sematary
A truck with the slogan “We always go the extra mile” took the last parking spot so I wrote on it “because we missed the exit” as a revenge.
Him: *running* That’s not what they mean when they say, “Chicks dig scars!”
Me: *shovel in hand* It’s what this chick means.
Anyone know a Minecraft interpreter? I don’t understand my son’s Christmas list.
Seriously, if you hacked Trump’s account and wanted to make him look bad, WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN TWEET.
one time when i was like 20 one of my best friends said he liked his name because of how unique it was. his name is jason
You’ll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back
Stamps be like “lick me and put me in the corner”
words that seem cool until you find out what they mean
– space bar