@SexyInsomniac

If you don’t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.

You Might Also Like

@Otter_News

No matter what kind of calculator steve is using, he will always hit “clear” multiple times. This is because Steve is a professional.

@ElizaBayne

You’re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU’RE RICH

@Dani21013

“Can I substitute my side salad for a bowl of gravy?”
-Me, at any drive thru

@joekjoek

Sex is like pizza. Turtles are having it in the sewers.

@EndhooS

“Come on now, I’m sure that Megatron isn’t such a bad guy when you get to know him…” – Optimist Prime.

@MCaparco

“A Vegan…like Mr. Spock?”

“No mom…that’s a Vulcan.”