@DearAuntAbby: If you don't smile and show everyone your teeth when you're eating Oreos then you're probably more mature than me.
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@markleggett: If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia.
@ewfeez: Hacked again! Sometimes I wish I never grew up on 12,345,678th Street with a dog named Password.
@KKAlThani: "Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?" "Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."
@Bob_Janke: Me: There's a cold spot I think it's a ghost Her: You're standing in front of the open refrigerator Me: OUR REFRIGERATOR IS HAUNTED?!