@SergioValenCo

If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?

You Might Also Like

@InternetHippo

JESUS: I am the way, the truth, and the life

ME: This guy is definitely an only child

@chrisdowning

Pro Tip: If you stand outside a restaurant wearing a red jacket, people will literally just give you their car.

@LuvPug

God’s son died single, but he’ll help you find your match on Christian Mingle.

@DanTaylorAuthor

I dropped my bowl of SpaghettiOs and it spelled ‘oooooooo’ on the floor. Spooky

@Bob_Janke

if I’m wearing a suit you better be dead or getting married

@CrackYouWhip

I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer.

@TheTweetOfGod

The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas.

@LowkeyNerdy

i don’t need a “previously on…”
ive been watching this show for 9 hours straight

@crunchenhanced

Marriage is like when you were a kid on Easter and saw this HUGE chocolate bunny in your basket.

But it was hollow. And white chocolate.

@mayamanion

Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.