Three steps to start a relationship.
1- buy a sheep
2- name it “relation”
3- now you have a relationsheep.
If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line.
You Might Also Like
I think sometimes we as humans ask too much of spandex.
Google+ is not a “ghost town”, because a town filled with ghosts would actually be fun.
But officer, that is my emotional support dismembered corpse in the trunk
Me: happy valentines day
Neil Degrasse Tyson: *slaps heart-shaped box out of my hands* an actual heart is shaped nothing like that
with absolutely zero exaggeration I think I can say that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
If a whale bit my leg, I would simply pursue him relentlessly until my obsessive hatred became my undoing
maybe if millennials didn’t buy an avocado toast every single day, then they could afford to purchase a house in 1955 like everyone else.
Why “Trojan” condoms? Didn’t the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
“Ninja please” -Japanese people