@dumbbeezie: If you find a stylist who can cut hair without talking, never let them go
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jmboyd58: 2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!
@marcmack: I live in fear that one day the real "World's Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
@lanyardigan: End any argument with a baby by saying "Well, at least my arms are longer than my head." YA GOT SMOKED, BABY
@stockejock: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.