@AimeeHelene1: If you get caught about to eat food off the floor, just pretend you lost your contact.
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@UNTRESOR: Hi, I'm Brandon and I'll be your hater this evening. Our specials tonight are "ur mom", "lol own3d", and "u mad bro lol u mad?!??!"
@IvankaTrump: Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
@ChrisThayerSays: I'll bet my mom's up in heaven right now, smiling, thinking, "Wow, it was really nice of them to let me out of hell for the day."