*gets out of the pool*
*gets into another pool but it’s full of rice so i can dry off*
If you haven’t left a store carrying your screaming kid surfboard style you’re not really parenting.
You Might Also Like
When I die donate my body to science
Science: No thanks we’re good
*rocks out at concert*
*holds up lighter*
*mass chaos, crying*
*one old guy high-fives me as I go down*
I’m glad humans don’t do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn’t want to tell people I’m Germish.
Me: Is that a Yeti cooler?
Yeti: *flicks cigarette* Cooler than what?
I’ve never understood why someone would rob a liquor store for the money.
How does it feel?
“Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon”
And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow?
its macaroni and cheese not macaroni and steve
Red meat isn’t bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is what you want to avoid.
Cosmetic surgery is a great way to spend your life savings and end up looking like a surprised owl.