@BoogTweets: If you hold a baby up to a light and don’t see the security strip it’s a fake baby
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@ImSoFrancis: Food just tastes better upside-down 1. upside-down cake 2. hamburgers 3. not cereal tho 4. oh no cereal is everywhere 5. why did I do this
@SondraDeeMe: I put my shoes on like everyone else. I beckon for my footman, Chauncey, and he does it straightaway. Your guy probably has a different name
@funnybeachgirl: I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom.
@DanMentos: Fun Prank: put a live turtle and a tiny pair of nunchucks in your toilet before your guests arrive