@EasilyTempted: If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.
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@AngelaEhh: I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn't think.
@LoveNLunchmeat: A disloyal friend will shank you without hesitation, but a really good friend will think long and hard about it and then shank you.
@colourpancakes: What’s a movie everyone recommends to you but you’ve never seen? Mine’s the safety video for this forklift I’m operating.
@packageoflies: At my funeral will you make sure the pallbearers say things like "Wow, She's so light." and "Is she even in here?"