@EasilyTempted: If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.
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@ClichedOut: Interviewer: Your greatest weakness? Me: I embezzle. I: M: And I'm bad at jokes. I: M: And interviews.
@: Hogwarts doesn’t teach anything but magic because if one wizard learns law the school with a child-bludgeoning tree is the first thing getting sued.
@UberFacts: A survey found one in five women have ended a relationship because their significant other was too busy playing video games.