If you love her, shout it from the rooftops. Tell everyone around you. Tell the internet. Tell the cashier at cvs. Tell a hobo. Tell her husband. Whatever.

You Might Also Like



“Why is this guy listening to our conversation?”


“I don’t get why our troops need to wear camouflage, when they could just wear glasses…”



If a panda was coming after me to kill me I don’t think I’d even try to stop it. It would be an adorable death and my family would have a great story for decades.


[first/last day working at an Italian restaurant]

CUSTOMER: what types of pasta do you have?

ME: we have spaghetti, vermicelli, rigatoni, enrico palazzo, falsetto, versace and fellatio


I bet Jane didn’t know Tarzan swings both ways.


Me: *trying to hock a loogie*

Pawn shop owner: I’m not giving you any money for that.